Open House...Grrrrr..

After teaching and working for almost 6 months, I finally decided to take a personal day and give myself the opportunity to just relax on a day that I "should" be teaching.  I slept in until 7, got up and got a run in.  Then I bummed around and watched some American television on my computer and finally made my way to Myeong-dong.  Myeong-dong is the main shopping district in Seoul.  It has a bunch of international clothing stores and shoe stores and make-up stores, etc.  I read that on an average day more than 2 million people visit Myeong-dong.  As I have been working for months and saving most of what I make and counting every penny I spend, I decided that I'd pamper myself a bit on my day off.  I went and got a pedicure and then hit the shops in Myeong-dong.  I found some cute dresses and shirts.  Overall, it was a successful day.  But I would be lying if I said that I'm feeling relaxed and cool, calm and collected after my day off.  Honestly, I am stressed to the MAX!

Twice a year, my school hosts an Open House for each class.  Open House is an opportunity for the parents to come and see what their students have been learning at our school.  In theory, it seems like a great idea.  I love the idea of parents coming into my classroom and seeing what my students have been learning and how far they've come in the last couple months.  However, in practice, Open House is terrible!  Instead of running a normal, everyday class, we perform a scripted class.  For the past 2 months, my students have been working on perfecting this scripted class.  They are expected to speak perfectly when their parents come so their parents will see how much they've learned, even though half the time my students don't understand what they're saying.  They've just memorized their lines.  If Open House doesn't go well, parents pull their students and put them in other schools.  So obviously us teachers have a ridiculous amount of pressure to perform perfectly.  My Open House is on Friday.  And just thinking about it and writing about it right now has caused 3 new stress canker sores to pop up in my mouth.  My students are so unpredictable.  I've bribed them with everything I can think of to make sure they perform to the best of their abilities.  (I know...I'm a good teacher...right?)

Additionally, I am taking the LSAT in 10 days.  I only have 10 days of studying left...AHHHHHH!!!!  I've already taken this stupid test once.  Still I cannot help but feel that my entire future is riding on my performance on this test.  I tell myself hourly, at least, that God has a plan for me, a plan to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  Yet they feel simply like words that leave my mouth and then fall to the ground and shatter.  My deepest prayer is that sometime soon, preferably in the next week and a half, these words that I continue to recite will settle in my heart.  How much easier it is to say something rather than actually believe it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is life is good, but right now life is also very stressful, difficult and confusing.  I would greatly appreciate your prayers as I work through Open House in the next couple days, take the LSAT on the 26th and ultimately work on believing God's promises for my life.

It's ALL About Him,

KendallCooke